Review of Taran Adarsh’s movie review of Billu Barber.

I am not gonna write movie review of Billu (barber!!) or neither I want to. I spent 3 hours in watching that piece of crap and I was absolutely infuriating at Taran Adarsh who wrote review of movie. I went to watch that movie relying on his review and thought the movie could be at least worth 30 bucks.

Some exceprts from Taran’s review on Indiafm.

“Priyadarshan is synonymous with ha-ha-thons.”

okay, are you sure Taran, were you really laughing in, Bhagambhag, Dhol, mere baap pehle aap, chup chup ke, kyonki, hulchal and yeh tera ghar ye mera ghar????????.

“The story actually takes its inspiration from the legendary friendship between Lord Krishna and Sudama”

I hope Taran, you had your own share of elimentry education and read the story properly. The Krishna-Sudama story was all about meeting of old pals. In that story, Lord Krishna starts his journey to meet Sudama, and the most wonderful moments of the story were the moments they share after meeting each-other. Here, two friends meet and the movie gets over. Thank god. The best moment of the movie.. The end!!

“In this case, the story talks of the friendship between a superstar and an ordinary mortal who runs a salon.”

Really? I thought they showed some pathetic songs and poor protagonist’s struggle to make two ends meet.

“There’s a generous dose of glamour as well, given the fact that the protagonist’s friend happens to be a superstar, but what actually works for the film is the simpleton’s story.”

Glamor? I don’t know glamour to you means actresses clad in unnecessarily skimpy outfits and SRK wearing some really sadakchhap dresses!!

“Although the film is engaging, Priyadarshan reserves the best for the finale this time, when the superstar reminisces about his childhood friend and the deep bond that they shared. The end is remarkable and is sure to strike a chord with all sections of moviegoers.”

The oscar for the most predictable end of the year goes to BILLU. Ahem ahem!

“This tale of friendship is sure to steal your heart!”

No!!! my heart is reserved for some better stealer!!

“The story takes an INTERSTING turn when Billu’s life collides with the superstar’s. And the assorted characters — right from an aspiring poet/lyricist [Rajpal Yadav], to a stingy money lender [Om Puri], to the principal of the school [Rasika Joshi] — everyone wants favours from Billu. These characters only make BILLU more interesting.”

INTEREST! Did I read interest there?  yeah this was the word I was looking for. No, not in your review, neither in dictionary but in da movie, you noob.

“SRK’s track is equally fascinating and only spices up the proceedings. In fact, Priyadarshan has amalgamated the three songs [featuring SRK with Deepika, Priyanka and Kareena] in the narrative smartly. Not once do you feel that you’re watching two stories concurrently.”

Oh my gosh! Most pathetic songs off late. Totally misplaced in the movie and this man finds them facinating. Should I tell you to get a life or will you help yourself?

“The best part of the enterprise is its climax.”

I swear most of the watchers in drive-in had started engines of their cars during this part of the movie. So can you tell me what was that?

“Pritam’s music is energetic.”

Yeah, that’s true. They really instilled me with immense energy to take a danda and push it up to his arse!! Bloody cheapo!!

“On the whole, BILLU is a sweet-n-simple film that lingers in your memory even after the show has concluded. The final 20 minutes are the highpoint of the enterprise and that elevates the status of the film to great heights. The film has the potential to grow with a strong word of mouth. Recommended… Take your family for this one!”

You f****r! How much did you get paid for writing this? Kaha Gaye aapke aadarsh, Mr. Aadarsh?